Dating a borderline woman

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Dating a girl with BPD doesn't have to be nearly as difficult as you may believe. Why do I make this bold statement? Because if you ask me, BPD (Borderline.

I must say it was very helpful, but it also described this issue as a very complicated one, that takes years or life work to recover from and people might go throug a lot of slips. I never took the time to look within myself because I believed that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I realized it is My fault, cause in the beginning I just wanted just that. I recently figured this out and at some point I will have to pull back all the way because I don’t want to see the end result.

They’ll still think you can save them though, and use this to keep an emotional tether to you, putting their entire emotional and physical well-being in your hands. This is called "playing hard to get. Those of us in this kind of life are lucky to have this forum.

Yes my first BPD relationships ended like that, just cheating behind my back. Yes, and I have a strictly teetotal friend with BPD who freely admits that she can't stop sleeping with strangers for validation and a married monogamous friend with BPD who habitually drinks three bottles of wine in one sitting.

  • Your parents did this to you.
  • I am very aware of my issues and I try VERY hard to overcome them.
  • This only leaves weekends, with us alternating who visits who each weekend.

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Remember therapy is generally more about unlearning old behaviors than learning new ones but for the treatment of BPD you really have to unlearn and reprogram – which is challenging to say the least. She NEVER did anything like that again, because i made it clear i’d leave next time and I wouldn’t lose my time. She calls the police to try and get him arrested on a use charges.

During the first 3 months, the relationship was PERFECT. Extremely sensitive, starts crying over bull****. For Karla, a 29-year old woman recently diagnosed with BPD, Dr. For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational. Having this available is a life-changer.

  1. After we moved in together I came to the realization that he was hiding many secrets from me and wasn’t the person who he made himself seem to be.
  2. All in all I just hate having to see her so upset about things whether it’s a mood swing or just something that’s actually bothering her and I want to know of ways to show her that I actually do care about her greatly and I want to know of ways to be a person that she can be around who wont ever judge her, or complain, or be impatient, etc.
  3. All the little things I can.
  4. Alpha Males’ as most men talk about it are really just butt hurt betas trying to hide their weakness.
  5. Andrea No you aren’t evil, but people with this disorder put people without BPD through soo much hell and emotional abuse.
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    Hey Rick, wondering if you’d have some advice for me. Hey, thanks for writing this. How can i prove as a friend. How dare you encourage people to run away from anyone with BPD.

    I figured that she needed a couple of days or weeks to collect herself and speak through whatever problems she was experiencing in our relationship. I go sit on the couch, she sits next to me and seems happy. I have tried everything in my limits to have her attention but it has all failed. I just want a normal loving relationship, and he said if I cam’t stop treating him like shit he will leave.

    I would have ignored the issue (her wanting her along time) entirely if she just stuck with not returning my texts and didn’t try to cover up with a bullshit story about not receiving the texts. I've also seen multiple miscers with threads on the same subject. If things don't work out or you're “ghosted,” it can feel like the end of the world. If you challenge them or try to hold them accountable, they will lash out and you.

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    When she isn’t out of control she is very sweet and loving and caring. While I do not know what she is saying to her family and friends, she was treated extraordinarily well so I am certain it is something related to how horribly I had treated her.

    They may seem small at first, but they will slowly become apparent. They start out thinking, “I love this guy, he’s the greatest,” but if he does a minor thing that disappoints them, they get deeply disturbed. They told me in my ex's case, she has a hard time dealing with daily stress, "bills, work,household problems" which lead to medication for her mood swings/depression.

    Sometimes we just date men we don’t love because it’s convenient and we are lonely. Still set your limits and stick to them, but in a loving and nonjudgmental way. That’s kind of her basic description for anyone who doesn’t seem to understand the way she ticks or gets offended at things she does that are inconsiderate. Then when the moon has gone away and the werewolf skips town, I’m left with all this gore and chaos I as it has created.

    It's fine when you meet the person in question and realize you don't find him or her that attractive, or that the two of you don't quite hit it off. It's true, we sometimes demand what might seem like more than our fair share of air-space, but it comes from desperation, not egotism. Its quite refreshing to see this. I’m a nice, alpha male as well. I’m only now starting to stand up and not allow her to walk all over me. I’m trying to change but if I feel lonely for a second I do it again.

    Barbara Greenberg, who treats BPD, Thomas*, a 32-year-old who dates someone with BPD, and Karla*, a 29-year-old recently diagnosed as borderline.

    Having this new mentality and skillset will allow you to break the common flow of abuse and toxicity that brings pain to you and the relationship. He has been in many relationships, and even when he was in the terrible grips of addiction he was not violent. He knows im in this program and also unsure but willing to take the risk to see if ive changed.

    Bipolar has actually been proven to be genetic I believe, whereas BPD is a personality disorder developed through upbringing in the childhood years.

    She has dated guys but just in cycle there are up phases then she completely walks away without no information. She starts yelling shut up shut up. She’s literally confused as all hell right now. Some people are deceptive.

    There’s really no saying whether this is BPD or not. These are just some of the warning signs that you might be dating someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. They are very impulsive; volatile moods and angry outbursts are the norm; deficits in social perception and social skills become even more apparent when disappointments occur. They may be physically aggressive when they believe that a social or emotional distance exists between them and their female partners.

    Changing mindsets, getting good at dating and relationships is NOT easy, and people struggle with it forever. Comâ„ and BodySpace® are trademarks of Bodybuilding. Dialectical behavior therapy has a tremendous success rate in treating borderline personality disorders because it basically teaches them a set of skills for them to handle their emotions. Don't take it personally because that goes for every guy she will ever date. Don’t make the mistake of trying to change your partner.

    But at the same time it Also seems as though it is more of a accomplishment thing for him. But by creating a story, it lead me to believe that it might be possible (unlikely) she’s not receiving my texts and I’m forced to check with everyone else to ensure the problem isn’t on my end and to ensure the texts are going through. But she didn’t want to under my arms. But that i dont want to BeAround him, when he treats me bad.

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    Bottom line – if you are not an Alpha we will destroy you.

    Keep these people out of your life folks. Last night, after reading this blog I tried to stand my ground. Meds don't help borderline personality disorder. Most of my actions are done in self-defense to protect myself from some perceived threat.

    Throwing things at me, shoving me into things, "Oh sorry, I didn't see you there. To experience what appears to be intense passion and emotion which can quickly switch to complete callous disregard is not a pleasant way to have a relationship. We have impulsiveness and do things without thinking first or do things out of hatred. We talked over the last three weeks and things seemed to be going well and then boom, she says, “I’m in love with DBAG.

    I am guessing that, according to your philosophy, I lost my power and control by allowing the ignoring to affect me, and then not standing my ground when she turned her behaviour on me. I asked her once if she is bipolar and she said no and offered no other info. I currently married for the 2nd time and yes my first wife left me due to my behavior. I didn’t know what I know now though so the relationship failed.

    1. (Sex is almost like a weapon for a borderline woman, she will use it to get control of you and secure you.
    2. A word of advice here for anyone playing in this garden, always use a comdom and flush it the second your done, many of these women with do anything to trap you and use their own child for destruction.
    3. About 10 minutes later she comes out.
    4. Women with bpd generally have low self esteem which borders on "self loathing"; a kind of hatred of oneself. Wow, i feel like this was written about my relationship its almost scary! Yeah I mean it’s not for every guy.

      I told her I’m 41 years old and want to have a wife and family like I had hoped to have with her. I tried to call family and friends to another text of a threat to call the police if I did so again. I tried to get her to open up as to why but she refused to discuss it further saying she loved me. I tried to get in touch with her and she shrugged me off.

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      If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t respect yourself then there’s no way you’re going to be able to respect your partner. In the past, and even now, I noticed that her ex’s and other guys would constantly hit on her. It looked to me that we really did hit eachother, really similar interests, characters and gestures, i know that was real her. It was through the break-up of my first boyfriend that had started the process.

      BPD makes us paranoid sometimes and we might not want to think about what you say behind our backs, even if it's spoken with love and concern.

      How you react to a woman with BPD has a huge affect on the relationship working or not. However, because of the nature of the disorder and the fact that the borderline essentially feels unworthy, defective, or unlovable, she will often be the cause of her own undoing. However, not every one has negative motives for their actions. I DID EVERYTHING in my power to love her, show her I care, be a gentleman, etc.

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      While a relationship with someone who has BPD may seem nearly impossible at times, there are ways you can facilitate the relationship with that person without having to go on the rollercoaster ride with them as they oscillate between extremes in behavior and mood. Why do I make this bold statement? Women don’t like pleasers, they don’t like needy guys, they don’t like guys with low testosterone and no masculinity.

      I try not to say anything about it though. I was a novice and just kind of walked through the whole experience with a high level of confusion. I was hurt, but not surprised since she’d never been single between relationships. I was in a relationship with a BDP for the 11 months.

      But this girl is beyond BPD obviously with the cutting, anorexia, etc. By that I mean I don’t feel crazy or unstable. Can you imagine growing up in north korea or some other shit hole?

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      Most of the guys she has these crushes on aren’t interested in her. My gut is saying, run and no contact. My view: “Nice summary – exactly! Now the way I interpret this list is that BPD is basically a large umbrella with all these issues underneath it. Relationships can't be this smooth; there must be something wrong.

      I also dont like that it would be called a “disorder” Its a personality that is who we are. I always was apologizing after I had time to think. I am even fine accepting her if she is back in the coming months.

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